December - Holiday Season is Here!

Just a quick update on our family happenings for the month of December. I have fallen out of the habit of sending Christmas cards through the mail, as I think a lot of people have. Now that the internet is our mode of communication, it is just too easy to send a "Merry Christmas" to everyone on Facebook, or on the old family blog!! So this is my MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my friends and family. I love you all and think of you often throughout the year.
Our family has had its ups and downs this year. Seems we are ending the year on an "up" however, with our placement of Joshua in September!  He is such a special little boy! SO sweet and has the best personality ever! We have been so blessed with all of our children. They each have their own special spirit and personality and talents they have brought to our family. I can't imagine not having a single one of them!
Andrew is here in Houston now. He and his wife, Dana, have just bought their first home. It is only about 15 minutes from us, so needless to say, we are ecstatic they are planning to stay in the Houston area for a good long while! Dana works for Jordon Health Services part time doing Chrissy's personal care attendant hours, so we get to see her often and she is also finishing her associates degree and moving on to her bachelor's program in January. She also works part time with Wells Fargo as a teller, so she is a VERY busy young woman! Andrew is in training with the Army for his new position as A Mobility and Logistics Warrant Officer. He will be back and forth between Virginia and Houston this year doing training classes. He is also finishing up his Associates Degree and will be moving on to his Bachelor's program this coming year.  I am so proud of both Andrew and Dana, and really appreciate all the help they have given their dad and me this year!! Including all of Andrew's hard work helping me remodel our upstairs bath to make it fully handicapped accessible for the little boys!
Katie is still in San Antonio at Fort Sam Houston. We expect her home this coming Sunday for a two week break. She is Private 2 in the Army Medical Corp, and her MOS is Mental Health Professional. She has come a long way this year and is turning into a mature, responsible young lady! Though her engagement was called off this year, Katie has bounced back with a new determination to succeed and progress in her Army career. She is being considered for "Airborne" training (she will be jumping out of airplanes!) and has gotten her new station for after AIT. In January she will be stationed at Fort Gordon, Georgia and will be there for at least a year. She is another child I can be proud of and I am so happy she has found a career she enjoys and can do well in. She is always high female PT (physical training) in her platoon and is fit and well! So happy for her!
Chrissy is still our little angel girl! She is healthy and happy as well. She has had the fortune of very good health this year, and has grown like a weed! She is going to be eleven years old on December 26th! Not bad for a little one, who was given the prognosis of only living a few weeks! Isn't it amazing what LOVE can do!?!  Chrissy is now in 5th grade life skills class and loves her teacher, Ms. Claire, so much! She enjoys music, and reading, and doing hand over hand crafts with Ms. Claire. She still receives Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy and we are so thankful for Ms. Wendy and Ms. Tina for their dedication to Chrissy and helping her to progress!
Stephen is now in 3rd grade, and is still a little pistol! He had a shunt revision surgery in April and since then has been a much happier little boy! We had no idea that his shunt had stopped functioning, just knew that he had been rather irritable and hard to get along with. Imagine our surprise (and shock) when he had his annual MRI and the neurosurgeon said, "Oh, his shunt has come apart"! Wow! A little scary, but so glad we were able to catch it and get him all fixed up!  Stephen is a smart, personable little fellow with big plans and big ambitions for his future! He has decided he wants to work for the CIA one day, and though he can't walk, he says "I can do a great job on a computer!"   What a great attitude for a little guy!!  LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
Well, we are still missing our Angel ^Emily^ girl. Not a day goes by when we don't think of her and wish she was here with us. I know she is in Heaven helping Jesus and that gives me comfort, but I sure wish she could have stayed on earth with me! I guess that makes me a little selfish, but as a mother I just can't help it. I do so miss my baby girl!
And now, there is little Joshua, to keep us busy! He is just a delight and joy. We brought Joshua home to our family in September. He is just turned two years old, and he has Spina Bifida (like Stephen), but he is doing incredibly well. When he came home, he had a feeding tube, and severely clubbed feet. He weighed 17 pounds and was 28 inches long - a tiny little thing! Now, in December, he weighs 22 pounds and is 30 inches long. His feet are corrected (he just got his final cast off) and he is already trying to stand! He is minus the feeding tube and eating orally and just so active and happy all the time. He is a doll and we are so happy to have him join our family!
So all in all, it has been a good year for the Mason Family. Looking forward to the New Year and seeing what Heavenly Father has in store for us in 2012!  Our prayers are with you all that you will each have a happy and healthy year in 2012!  Merry Christmas from the Mason's!!

Journey of the Bees: "Bee"-ography: Adoption Story

Journey of the Bees: "Bee"-ography: Adoption Story

A poem by Emily Dickinson

I measure every grief... I measure every grief I meet With analytic eyes; I wonder if it weighs like mine, Or has an easier size. I wonder if they bore it long, Or did it just begin? I could not tell the date of mine, It feels so old a pain. I wonder if it hurts to live, And if they have to try, And whether, could they choose between, They would not rather die. I wonder if when years have piled-- Some thousands--on the cause Of early hurt, if such a lapse Could give them any pause; Or would they go on aching still Through centuries above, Enlightened to a larger pain By contrast with the love. The grieved are many, I am told; The reason deeper lies,-- Death is but one and comes but once And only nails the eyes. There's grief of want, and grief of cold,-- A sort they call 'despair,' There's banishment from native eyes, In sight of native air. And though I may not guess the kind Correctly yet to me A piercing comfort it affords In passing Calvary, To note the fashions of the cross Of those that stand alone Still fascinated to presume That some are like my own. - Emily Dickinson

October 10, 2011

I have had the hardest time writing this week. I wanted to write on Monday. Monday was our baby Emily's birthday....her second birthday in Heaven...
Emily would have been six years old. I think about her little face, and her sweet little voice, and wonder how she would have looked and acted and how she would have enjoyed her birthday!!  I know i would have been buying princess outfits, and barbie dolls, and knowing her, probably some outdoor playthings as well!  It would have been the year to add a swing set to the backyard. Or perhaps a Little Tykes play center.   She would have been in first grade, with all the excitement that goes along with that! With her cochlear implant, she would have been talking by now, and how precious her words would have been! Made all the more special because of her bravery and struggles with hearing, and her determination to speak and be all that she could be!! 
Emily was courageous. Emily was loving. Emily was strong. Emily was passionate. She was beautiful inside and out. All who knew her, loved her! She was a very special little girl with a huge compassionate spirit. She knew no evil, trusted everyone, and had no fear. She had no fear because she knew how loved she was. She had nothing to be afraid of, because there had been no one in her life to cause her to fear. How wonderful that was for her! 

I was so proud to be Emily's mother. She was such a joy to me and her family. She was smart, funny, outgoing, personable, sweet, loving, and happy! So happy! She enjoyed every second of every day. I have never in my life known a person, much less a child, who had a smile on her face 24/7 and lived with such a zest for just BEING!

Emily was and is an example to me. She taught me love and patience and understanding. She taught me that life is worth living and I continue to live in honor of her. Though my heart has a HUGE piece missing and I live with daily sadness that will never, ever go away (until I see her again in Heaven), I still live and love and continue on with our family in honor of her! In honor of Emily's great contribution to our family. I know she is proud of us that we have adopted Joshua, and probably had a hand in Heavenly Father bringing him to us. I know she loves us, and I know she misses us as much as we miss her. I am happy for her, that she is in a glorious place with a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ!

My friends in Australia lost their little boy who had Hydranencephaly this week. Noah's dad spoke at his funeral service. One of the things he said that struck my heart was that the day Noah died was the worst day of his life, the worst day EVER. But that it was the best and most glorious day of Noah's life.  I cried when Aaron shared that. I cried for Aaron and Lisa and their boys and I cried for me and my husband, Kevin.  But you know, I also think I cried because it was true what Aaron said - it was the most glorious day of Noah's life! And January 3, 2010 was the most glorious day of Emily's life. Though it was without a doubt the most horrifying and awful day I have ever lived through, it comforts me now, a year and a half later, to know that it was indeed a glorious day for Emily!  She got to leave this tough, cynical, often unyielding earthly world, and return with Jesus Christ to her Heavenly home, where she is whole and fulfilled and a beautiful angel spirit. Her crown in the eternal world is assured and she only had to endure 4 years of earthly life to receive her glory! 
How special indeed she was - a most valiant spirit child of God - in order to earn the privilege and right to be called Home so soon!  How privileged I am to be her mother!! 

 

Happy Birthday My Precious, Precious Angel Emily!! Mommy loves you so much!!!

Adoption Month!! Also known as GOTCHA month!!

September was a lovely month indeed! Here is Joshua with Mommy on our first day together. We spent a couple of hours at the park in Salt Lake City, while Birth Mom hung out nearby to make sure all was well with Josh. He did great that day and we were able to increase the time we spent with him quickly. Joshua was comfortable with our family almost right away. It was so cool to watch him not only get used to us, but you could actually tell he felt spiritually comfortable with us right away!

 Dana came with me to Salt Lake City, and I am so glad I got to spend some quality time with her as well!! She is a special young woman and I am so happy my Andrew made such an excellent choice in a spouse!! Dana is definitely a keeper!!  Love her!!

Once we arrived home with Joshua (which took a few days longer than we thought due to Interstate Compact paperwork and requirements), Stephen was more than happy to give his new little brother some attention! He is going to be a great big brother to Joshua!!

Poor little Joshua will have to get used to mom and Dana's fascination with new baby clothes! And apparently, costumes as well!! Josh is going to be a little monkey for Trunk or Treat - which is very appropriate as he IS our little monkey. Wow, this kid's personality is really coming out now that he is home with his new family!  He was so shy at first - not anymore! He is laughing and goofing around and babbling like crazy at anyone who will listen! He is smiley and happy and just a cutie!!
We are getting his medical stuff all lined up. He starts with specialist appointments next Tuesday. First GI Surgeon to schedule his G-Button placement so we can get rid of that nasty old NJ Tube! I know he will be so happy to get rid of it, as it really bothers him when he swallows and also bothers the skin on his cheek! We have to switch sides and tape every couple of days to keep his skin soft and supple.  Next will be Orthopedics to look at his feet! We are praying he will just need serial casting and not bone surgery to straighten them out. Little dude wants to stand up and walk to badly! But we can't let him stand until the ortho gets a look at those little clubbed feet!!
After those two appointments, we will have Urology and hopefully regular GI doctor, so we can get his catheters ordered, and also a swallow study done, to see if we are safe to start feeding Joshua solids! He wants to eat so much! Hoping his swallow study shows that he can!!
He has just been a joy. We are taking him to meet big sister Katie this coming weekend in San Antonio.
Speaking of Katie, she has found out where she will be stationed first, once she is done with training. She will be at Fort Gordon, Georgia! I am excited she will only be 14 hours away from us! It is a good location, so she is okay with it too, though I think she kind of was hoping for somewhere a little more exotic! LOL
Andrew starts his Mobility officer training soon, and Dana was accepted into the CID unit in Houston! So we will have our very own Special Agent in the family (NCIS style, except Army)! I know she will enjoy that so much! Happy she was able to get the transfer!!
Happy birthday to my sister, Melanie, too! Her birthday was September 23rd and I won't tell how old she was!!  She should be happy though, cos she is younger than me!! Hoping they will come over soon to meet Joshua!!
Well, that is it for now! Will write more when we have other exciting things happen, but it will be hard to top this month! Love to all!!

Labor Day 2011

Memories I Hold In My Heart,

It seems like only yesterday.....

How Time Flies!

Heaven is blessed with perfect rest but the blessing of earth is toil.  ~Henry van Dyke

It is Labor Day 2011 tomorrow. It has been a busy month so far. The first was my brother Kevin's birthday! Happy birthday to a super, wonderful, kind man whom I am proud to call BROTHER!  


The second was a day full of phone calls and planning with LDS Family Services in Utah and LDS Family Services in Dallas, to coordinate and facilitate our last adoption.


The third was a day of sadness mixed with a day of joyful blessing! September 3, 2011 marks 20 months since my precious baby Emily left this earth and flew to Heaven into the arms of Jesus. My sadness was tempered with joy this month though, as my daughter (in-law, but really my daughter) Dana, was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. I have enjoyed watching her testimony of Christ grow and her knowledge advance as she reads her scriptures and comes to understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a choice spirit and beautiful daughter of God she is! I was so proud to see my son, Andrew, holding the Priesthood and being able to baptize his wife. What a special memory they will forever share! 


Tomorrow, on Labor Day, we will rest as a family and begin to prepare for our trip to Salt Lake City on Wednesday to meet our new son, Joshua and his birth mother.


On Tuesday, September 6th, I celebrate my own birthday. My children bought me a beautiful charm bracelet and couldn't wait to give it to me! It has charms representing each child and one telling me I am loved. I treasure it already! I will be adding many more charms of special meaning over the years to this bracelet. Maybe one day I will be leaving it to a special grand-daughter. 


On Wednesday, we will leave for Utah. Dana and I will be driving, so we hope to arrive on Thursday. It will be a 24 hour car ride, but we will split it into two days, and it will be a fun road trip for us! 


Friday will be the day we meet Joshua for the first time. I feel I know him already. I feel his spirit in my heart and I cannot wait to hold him and cuddle him. Joshua's birthday is also Wednesday, September 7th, and he will be two years old. September 7th is also Kevin and I's 26th wedding anniversary! What a special day this will be!


Kevin will be joining us in Salt Lake City on Saturday the 10th to meet his son also. If all goes well and without a delay, we will be signing paperwork on Monday the 12th, and Joshua will be all ours!  We will have to stay in Utah until Interstate Compact is complete between Utah and Texas, and then we will be able to travel home with our little boy. 


The crib is all set up and the family is all ready to take on a new little one. Joshua has Spina Bifida, like our Stephen, so we feel competent and prepared to have him join our family. We know we can take good care of him and help him live his life to the fullest and be happy and healthy! 


So it is a joyful, busy time in our lives, while at the same time, still a sorrowful, melancholy joy. We still miss our Emily so very much. She is always on my heart and mind. What would have been her sixth birthday is coming up in October and that will be a very hard day. I know she is smiling down on us as we prepare to take Joshua into our family and probably had a hand in him joining us! She knows he will be comfort and joy to her mommy, and will ease some of my longing and heartache for her. But she also knows I will always, always miss her sweet spirit and beautiful little face. No other child could ever replace my Emily, but I am happy for the opportunity to develop love and bonding with another little one, who in his own way, will be irreplaceable also! 


In my heart there is always room for more children and more love! But Joshua will be our last adoption. In the future my love will be shared again with grandchildren (I hope)!  There will be rest from my labors, and I can pass the torch to my children to toil and teach and love their families as I do mine!  


Today in Church, the opening hymn was "Because I Have Been Given Much". This did not surprise me, as it has always been played and sung when we are pondering an adoption. But it did remind me once again, how blessed I am! My Heavenly Father has given me so much in my life and I am so thankful for His love and His comfort in times of need. 


So, the next time I write, I will be a mother of SIX. Can't wait to post pictures and tell you all about Joshua!! 

I'm So Excited!

Try as I might, I can't help getting excited at the prospect of a possible placement! I tell myself to remain optimistic, hopeful and happy, but refrain from jumping the gun. It is never a done deal til the paperwork is signed, but it is looking VERY hopeful that we will receive an adoptive placement this week. A precious, precious child that I am so very excited about! I can't say more until it's for sure, but please keep our family in prayers today and through the weekend, that if Heavenly Father wants this child to come home to us, it will happen without a hitch! 

Very prayerful today and mindful of a birth mother's sacrifice. Such bravery these birth mother's show in trying to do the very best for their children. I love all our birth mom's so much! If it were not for their sacrifice my family would not be complete.

I hope I am doing a good job of taking care of all these precious spirits, making the sacrifice worthwhile. I hope they each know that we are doing our very best, every second of every day, to make these children's lives full, happy, and healthy! That we love them each with a perfect, unconditional love. And we are so PROUD to be "mom" and "dad".

Okay, off my mushy soapbox now! LOL  

Philosophy of a Mother

Another contemplative day....

The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective.  ~Robert Brault

Yesterday Dana, my lovely daughter (in-law) called to report to her new National Guard unit. The next thing I know I hear this tiny little quaver in her voice, saying "No....I didn't know that...." 
She found out that her new unit is deploying in January!! To AFRICA! Possibly for a year!
She will find out this coming weekend if she is added to the roster and has to go. I am praying she won't! She is not sure how she feels.. And Andrew, my son, is jealous and wished he could go!! Typical response from him! However, as he thinks about his wife leaving for several months, I am certain he will come to realize how blessed he has been to have her with him for the past three years of their marriage and how he will miss her love and support on a daily basis!  I suppose this is the down side of having Army children. As their mother, my heart aches at the thought of any one of them (Andrew, Dana, or Katie) having to deploy and go to another country and possibly be in harm's way!  I am so proud of them, that they are defenders of our country and the American way of life. But I am forever scared for their safety. I will pray daily for each of them, and try to squash the anxiety inside my soul...

So, our family goes from one "experience" to the next! Who knew life could be so exciting once the majority of my children were grown??? I always had in the back of my mind that when the kids were grown, we would have a too quiet, too sedentary, and too boring life! Never have I wished for an "empty nest". I LOVE having my kids around me and with me and watching them grow and progress in so many ways!


But, here we are with one married, and one engaged, and only two little ones at home. And our lives are richer, busier, and fuller than ever! I guess I never realized that once the kids were grown, their problems and activities, and situations are different but not gone from mom's heart. I still worry as much about the older ones as I do about the little ones! And they still come to mother with questions, problems and decisions, just as they come with news of happiness and joy! It is a beautiful thing to be a Mother!  I wouldn't trade it for the world!!


And thank you for a house full of people I love.  Amen.  ~Terri Guillemets

Money, Money, Money

Money makes the world go around
...the world go around
...the world go around.
Money makes the world go around
Of that we both are sure...
*rasberry sound* on being poor!

Money money money money
Money money money money
Money money money... (Liza Minnelli Lyrics)

It is so true, isn't it?  Kind of a cynical way to view the world, I suppose...but still a pretty accurate assessment of life in the present time!

Had to say no to a beautiful little newborn boy this weekend, who had Schizencephaly (similar to Chrissy's diagnosis), because it was a private adoption agency and they had to have over $10,000.00 in fees to complete the placement! It sucks to be middle income, not a lot of ready cash available at the drop of a hat! Of course there were other families with money in hand, and the birth mom and agency picked one of them to place the baby with. Even though our family may have been the perfect one to handle a child with those particular special needs, the money won out! 

I feel like the same thing happened last week, when we lost the opportunity to have a little boy and girl placed with us from Florida. The agency decided to place them with a local Florida family. Well, of course, that was cheaper for the state of Florida!!

All of this reminds me of when we were trying to adopt our first child (22 years ago) and we got a call from another private agency, who actually said to me "Well, if you had $8,000.00 RIGHT NOW, we could place twin girls with you this week."  So not fair to do to a young couple who long for a child and have been unable to either have a child or adopt a child! I remember just crying and crying that night. It was another long, long year before we were finally placed with our oldest son.

But, this is all part of the adoption process. There are many, many ups and downs. You just have to take it on the chin, and keep plugging away! 

On other fronts, we are now in the process of planning a wedding!!  Katie and her boyfriend, Stephen, are now engaged!

 

This picture was taken at her graduation from Basic Combat Training with the Army! She is looking so good and so healthy and we are so proud of her and the huge improvements she has made to her life!  I am one proud momma lately!  Look at these lovely children and it is easy to see why!!

We are blessed as parents! Now, all we need is another little one (and maybe some grand-babies!) and we will be a very blessed family indeed! I am sure Miss Emily is looking down from Heaven with a smile on her face, proud too of her big brother and sister!! 

Waiting......

The hardest part of adoption is the waiting!! I have known this a long time now - oh, about 22 years! LOL  I can't believe it has been 22 years since we held our first sweet baby in our arms at the adoption agency here in Houston, at LDS Family Services, and looked into Andrew's gorgeous dark brown eyes. It was love at first sight!

Two years later we were back to waiting for a little girl to join our family. That took another two years to happen and 18 years ago our darling Katie joined the Mason family. The four years we spent waiting for Andrew was agonizing, as we wanted a child so badly! We were so thankful to have him! Then after two years we applied again, and the next two years was again stressful and loooooonggggg. But Katie was worth the wait - she is a jewel!!

For six years we were content and happy, until that adoption bug struck again! We then waited two more years to get the call about our Chrissy!! She came at just the right time, and has blessed our family in ways that are unfathomable!  

Interestingly enough, after adopting Chrissy the "waiting" was over for us!  Stephen came along just 18 months after Chrissy and we didn't have to wait at all for him!!!  We got news of his impending birth and adoption availability just days before he was born! Before we knew what hit us, we had a new  little angel in our family! Those were some crazy days, I tell ya! Two babies, only 18 months apart, both with disabilities. We were so happy, but so busy!! 

Then our family was transferred to Alaska. That was a fun time too! And while we were there, we again were "surprised" by an adoption call. In 2005, our precious baby Emily was born and a month later was all ours!! I was kind of liking this "NOT WAITING" thing!  It was much more fun to be "surprised" with a baby!! 

But alas, here we are again......waiting......a bit different this time! We have applied to adopt from the state of Texas from the foster care system. All our other adoptions were private agencies. It has been an interesting process applying through a state approved agency. We had to do a new home study (our sixth one), re-take the adoptive parent classes (called PRIDE), re-certify with our First Aid and CPR,  go through FBI fingerprinting and background checks, and complete a host of paperwork! 

Now it is all done, and we are approved, and here we are......waiting......

Even after 22 years, the waiting is not fun! We have inquired on several different children, and are still waiting to hear back on some of them. Some have our home study and are reviewing family home studies to find the best match for a child. Others are not even that far in the process.  One possibility was looking great and then at the last moment the foster parents decided they wanted to adopt the child. I was happy for her, as she had been in their home since birth and she was nearly three! But sad for us, as we were back to "the wait"! 

"Patience is a virtue" and "Good things come to those who wait" are my mantras lately. And in the meantime, we have lots to keep us occupied!  It will happen when God mean for it to happen, and when it does, the child/children we receive will be meant for our family!! Funny how that works!! And it always does work! So excited to see what God has in store for us next!  But I do so hate the "waiting"~~

The Heart Will Go On....for it is filled with love for her.

This scrapbook design personalized with Smilebox

To the Haters out there....God loves Ya!

Ready for a rant? If not, don't read further!

First of all, please understand that this is my own personal rant. Not incited by any particular individual, just a bunch of circumstances in general! My thoughts, my opinions, and my responsibility! My blog is my sounding board, my grief relief, my adoption journey, and sometimes I just need to write about my feelings!
Putting your thoughts on paper or in a personal journal is one thing, but putting them out there for the whole world to see takes a bit more bravery and confidence! I enjoy writing. I enjoy expressing myself. I enjoy having the freedom to do so! So.....here goes my rant for the week!

WHY is it that even when you are trying your best to do something good, there are people who make it their life's mission to try and mess things up??  I call them "Haters". My definition of a "hater" comes from a speech by Maya Angelou, given during the Gracie Awards in 2009. She says,

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all
their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some
haters…That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you
blessed…

I am blessed. I am blessed with a wonderful family, a faith in God, and people I am proud to be associated with as friends and co-volunteers in a great cause. I have been so happy to be involved in a cause for Hydranencephaly (Chrissy's medical diagnosis). It has given me a new sense of being needed and of being able to help others. After losing Emily, I was lost and adrift. I needed a cause! It has been my pleasure to watch the Brayden Alexander Global Foundation for Hydranencephaly blossom and bloom into an organization that WILL succeed and make a great contribution to the lives and families of the children who have this diagnosis. Being an administrator on the Family 2 Family Resource Support Group on Facebook has been a delight as well!   I have "met" and learned to love so many new families and children. I truly love them all. It is wonderful to share views, advice, solutions to problems, and all the miraculous things our children do each day. I pray so hard daily for each family and each child. And I pray for the success of the Founder of this organization, that she will continue to be a strong advocate and be able to see this mission to it's fullest potential. Alicia Harper is a good person, a smart woman, and a compassionate friend to all our kids and families. It hurts me to see her personally attacked and be-littled when she has done nothing but want the best for her son and all our kids. It is not about the ego for Alicia. It is ALL about the families and what we can do for them!  So, the haters need to leave her, and the Global Foundation alone. We have no animosity towards anyone. No animosity towards any other organization. Quite the contrary, we have nothing but good wishes for their endeavors. Two Foundations with different missions should be able to co-exist peacefully and each pursue their own vision in their own way. There is no need to drag families, individuals, or anything else into some half-baked idea of a "competition"! There is no competition!! Why should there be?  All everyone should want is success for both organizations in their separate missions! 


Here is the problem, again from Maya. She says:


We’ve all got some haters among us!  People envy you because you can:
Have a relationship with God
Light up a room when you walk in
Start your own business
Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
Haters can’t stand to see you happy, Haters will never want to
see you succeed, Haters never want you to get the victory, most of our
haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life? Purpose does not mean having a job.
You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having
a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not
defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not
human manipulation. Fulfill your dreams!
You only have one life to live…when it’s your time to leave this earth,
you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my life and fulfilled
‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME! When God gives you favor, you can
tell your haters, Don’t look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…’
Maya Angelou 

Oh my gosh, so true! I LOVE this speech! My intentions are true and correct. I believe Alicia, and Holly and Heather and Sarah and all our wonderful families and volunteers for the organization have pure, true and correct principals and intentions. While we are busy spreading awareness, brainstorming ideas to further the cause and help our families and children; growing the Foundation by leaps and bounds, the "Haters" are busy spreading malicious lies, spending all their time figuring out how to "stop" us, making untrue accusations about timelines and legalities and trademarking infringements, and the list goes on and on and on and on.....

Wake up and smell the roses everyone involved!! The proof of intentions is in the works of the individual!!  


Don't be a "hater", be a supporter! Of ALL people and all good endeavors. Be a good person. None of us know how long we have on this earth. Between illness and accidents and evil in the world, we are all here by the Grace of God. 
When I go HOME, I hope God will say of me, "well done, thou good and faithful servant". Isn't that what we all should want?  


Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Don't let your sight be limited. Ignore the "haters" in the world. Be happy, be blessed, do good for others. Look over the horizon for the things that are truly important in life!  

And for the haters out there.....remember, God Loves You Too!!  As He forgives, so we forgive also.....

 

Praying not to be critical....

  "Now, we find many people critical when a righteous person is killed, a young father or mother is taken from a family, or when violent deaths occur. Some become bitter when oft-repeated prayers seem unanswered. Some lose faith and turn sour when solemn administrations by holy men seem to be ignored and no restoration seems to come from repeated prayer circles. But, if all the sick were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the Gospel, free agency, would be ended.

      "If pain and sorrow and total punishment immediately followed the doing of evil, no soul would repeat a misdeed. If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there could be no evil-all would do good and not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, no Satanic controls.

      "Should all prayers be immediately answered according to our selfish desires and or limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment,  or even death; and if these were not, there would also be an absence of joy, success, resurrection, and eternal life."

Spencer W. Kimball, "Tragedy or Destiny," Improvement Era,  March 1996,  pp. 180, 210

What If? ( Shared from the Silent Grief Website)

This is the question that haunts me from morning til night. What if I had brought her to bed with me that night? What if we had had a nurse on duty that morning? What if we had added yet another lock to the door? What if we had found her minutes earlier? What if the neighbors had had a proper fence and lock? What if I had been better at performing CPR? Would any of these "What Ifs" have made a difference?

Here is an article that helps me sometimes to remind myself I have to let go of the guilt. ^Emily^ would want me to do that. I know she would. But it is harder said, than done....

The "What If?" Trap

Written by Clara Hinton | Jan 31, 2002
The death of a child triggers many different emotions. There is shock and disbelief in what has happened. Children are never supposed to die before their parents! There is often a great deal of confusion following the death of a child. This cannot be my child. Not now and certainly not this way! It takes several weeks for the death of a child to even seem real.

Probably the longest-lasting, most tormenting emotion of all following the death of a child is that of guilt. That unanswerable question comes to the forefront of our thoughts and just won’t leave. What if? What if I had not left the pills sitting on the kitchen table? What if I had not left the keys in the unlocked car? What if I had stayed close to the pool and kept my eyes on him? What if I had not left the gun cabinet unlocked?

There is a knife sharp pain sent through the heart of a parent time and time again when guilt penetrates all thoughts. Guilt places a heavy burden that just seems like it paralyzes all thoughts from ever moving beyond that one question that can never be answered. What if? What if I had only done or said things just a bit differently? Maybe then I’d still have my precious child.

Moving beyond guilt is a necessary step in the journey of healing from child loss. This particular part of grief can be the most difficult pain of all to overcome. In order to be free of guilt, it is necessary to forgive one’s self.

Many children’s deaths are accidental, and a life can end in only seconds. No parent can completely foolproof a child’s life. The tragic truth is that fatal accidents can and do happen. When such is the case personally, it is very common for a parent to fall into the self-damaging cycle of the “what if” trap.

Moving beyond the guilt of this unanswerable question takes lots of hard work and often causes endless tears. Something that has helped many parents to move beyond the “what if” trap, is to discuss the guilt openly. Tell those closest to you of your guilt, and ask for help. You will occasionally get a careless, hurtful response, but most often family and friends will respond with compassion. Recognizing and admitting your guilt is a critical first step.

Put down on paper how you feel. Don’t leave anything out. Plan some sort of “letting go” ritual as a means of throwing away your guilt. Perhaps read aloud all of your guilt feelings to your spouse or two or three close friends and then crumble the paper with all of your guilt and toss it into a fire. As you watch the paper burn, you will begin to feel your heavy burden lift.

Finally, you must at some point decide to forgive yourself. This final step is the most difficult one of all. Coming to the realization that without forgiving yourself, you will never be able to move forward, you will have to live by a determined effort to not allow yourself to ask the “what if” question. It is a futile question because there is no answer, and it only adds to your grief.

By taking very precise steps to rid yourself of guilt, you will lift a heavy burden and finally be able to move forward in your journey of grief. Once you can move beyond the “what if” trap, you will know that you have successfully gotten rid of the gnawing questions that never really have any answers. Healing is about to begin!

A Worthy Adoption Share!!

THESE CHILDREN ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY

by Rita L. Soronen

President & CEO

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

===============================================

I was recently asked, “If you could give someone considering foster care adoption one piece of advice, what would it be? “ Excellent question! Today in America there are 115,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted, and yet there are also many challenges that anyone jumping into the child welfare system faces — unresponsive agencies, paperwork, system delays, and lack of post-adoption resources, to name just a few. At the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, too often we hear the frustration with what can appear to be a system that simply does not work to the advantage of parents stepping forward to adopt or the children waiting in care.

But we cannot give up. When children in foster care are permanently removed from their families of birth, we make what should be an unbreakable promise to them: we will find a family. And we will do it in a way that cherishes their childhood and their developmental needs so that they can grow and thrive within the birthright of every child – a safe and secure family of their own.

Take a moment and think about a time when, as a child, you were alone, or afraid or distraught because one of your favorite comfort items was missing or a parent was gone and you felt lost. Children in foster care waiting to be adopted experience and feel that loss in a much more profound way each and every day. Contemplating the challenges of foster care adoption is made a bit easier when we see the act of adoption, of forming a family, through the eyes of a waiting child.

Dave Thomas, our founder and an adopted child, constantly reminded us that “these children are not someone else’s responsibility, they are our responsibility.” So my one piece of advice to potential adoptive parents? Take on the responsibility and, no matter where you are in this process, commit to elevating these children by raising your voice on their behalf.

If you are experiencing unreturned calls, go up the chain and ask to speak with department managers, supervisors or directors. If the paperwork and delays seem overwhelming, reach out to a supportive network of others who have fostered or adopted and troubleshoot the issues. If there is process that you experience that needs to be fixed, share your concerns and suggestions for change with the leaders, from agency administrators to legislators, who create policy for children in care. Contact the local media, write a letter to the editor of your newspaper, or create a network of advocates for change.

And if you are ready to consider foster care adoption, reach out to the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids adoption professional in your community who will work with you to find a child. Wendy’s Wonderful Kids is a signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption that is now in all 50 states, D.C. and four provinces in Canada and provides dedicated foster care adoption workers to focus on the children waiting for families and the parents who step forward to adopt. More than 2,300 adoptions have been finalized through this program.

Together we can all take responsibility for the 115,000 children waiting to be adopted and stop the injustice of the nearly 30,000 each year who turn age 18 and leave foster care without a family of their own. Call us at 1-800-ASK-DTFA or email us at info@davethomafoundation.org and let’s work together for the children who need us most.

______________________________________________________________________________

About the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption: The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is a national nonprofit public charity dedicated exclusively to finding permanent homes for the more than 145,000 children waiting in North America’s foster care systems. Created by Wendy’s® founder Dave Thomas who was adopted, the Foundation implements results-driven national service programs, foster care adoption awareness campaigns and advocacy initiatives. To learn more, visit davethomasfoundation.org or call 1-800-ASK-DTFA.

Independence Day

Today is our Country's Birthday. I am proud to be an American. I am proud my older children serve our country in the United States Army, one branch of THE GREATEST fighting force in the world. I am proud of our Constitution, our Independence, and our Patriotism. I rarely talk about politics, as it is such a volatile subject, but today I will add that I personally am proud to be a Republican. Republicans are not always right, just as Democrats are not always right, but I do stand behind the conservative values of this country and feel they are best expressed by the Republican Party. I am proudly pro-life, believe "In God We Trust", and the values the Founding Father's wanted to instill in our country and legislature. I don't believe we are perfect, but the United State of America tries the hardest to help others, tries the hardest to maintain it's democracy, and it is the best example of government that the world has. I am grateful to live in this country and grateful for all the blessings we have here. Most of all, I am grateful for freedom. The freedom to worship, the freedom to speak my mind, the freedom to work where I please, and the freedom to travel where I please. Our blessings are prolific and varied here in the United States of America. Our gratitude should be just as prolific!

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~Thomas Paine

Love that thought because it is so true! But, hey, I also love this one:

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck

Where is your Heart?

Every day that I get older, I feel more sad that the world is so harsh. I feel for the sick, the injured, the disabled, the lonely, the orphans, the elderly, .....just about every class of human being, I guess.

Earthly life is hard. It is sometimes joyful, but a lot of the time it is just plain old difficult! I have found as I experience things in my life, that lately I have come to realize just what is important, and just what is not! There are things I should be spending my time on, and just as equally, there are things that I should not spend one second worrying over. One of the things I shouldn't have to be worrying over is what others say and do. Even if the things they are saying or doing affects me personally! Because, really, what can I do about it anyway?

Some people need to study and analyze the old Jewish Proverb that says,

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

I used to be one of those people. I think we all have been at some time in our lives. But age, experience, and loss have taught me better, I'd like to think. Especially loss.

Everything I do in my life since the loss of my child, has a different nuance, a different meaning, a greater sense of what is important. To sum up the difference in my perspective is to say that now my Heart is in the right place. I feel a need often to call up old friends, make amends, right wrongs I may have done or said. I feel the need to apply scripture knowledge to my life in the form of actions. Not just quote the words, but to try and live the words. Words like these

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. ~Proverbs 16:32

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. ~Proverbs 17:28

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. ~Proverbs 23:7

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might. ~Ecclesiastes 9:10

Golden bits of wisdom, faith, and Golden Rules for living our lives. So many pearls of wisdom from a loving Heavenly Father! Why do we waste so many years of our lives ignoring them? I think it is a wise man who learns when he is young to listen to the spirit, listen to the words of the Prophets, and listen to his heart!

Me? I am an old lady now, practically ancient, LOL! But hopefully it is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks! I desire to be a better person, a kinder person, and I desire to continue helping others until my old body and heart just give out! Hopefully, I can. Hopefully, my heart will remain in the right place!

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. ~Matthew 6:19-21

My daily question when I wake up in the morning is now, " Where is your heart? "

So Sad Today....

Yesterday was a good day. Today, not so much! This grief thing is never ending. Just when you think you have a handle on it, something happens that just dredges up all the pain and your healing regresses back to the day of your loss! Those memories come flooding back, you are overwhelmed once again, and your heart just hurts...

All the sadness in the world will not change the past. All the anger directed at others will not change the past. All we can do is continue to push on towards the future. It is all we have...

My heart is so tender this morning and the tears are so close to the surface.

I so need something good to come along to distract me and make me feel something other than sorrow!

I pray my friends can be tolerant of me. They must get tired of hearing about my grief. But, there it is - always - sitting right at the forefront of my brain and unfortunately all I can do is share it or keep it tightly inside. The tighter the reins of control, the more pain I feel inside. So I have no choice but to let it burst free some days. It is the only way to survive.

What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature. ~Voltaire

Please pardon me, my dear friends and family. Bear with me as I learn to survive the loss of my baby girl, Emily. I will get there....one day I hope to be joyful again. It will be a different kind of joyful. More about peace and happiness in the here and now. More about Hope and Faith for the eternities to come.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

From the website of Clara Hinton, Silent Grief, comes an inspiration to me. She says:

We often wonder, "Is there any relief? Will this wound from

child loss ever heal? Will there be a day when I will feel

joy once again?" We long to go back to the time before the

illness or the accident. We want things to be like they were

before.

But, reality is that this world no longer exists. We live in a

new world, a new place, and in a new way. The life we knew

with our loved one has now changed. And, somehow, some way

we must find a way to find peace and joy once again.

We keep trying. Day after day, hour after hour, minute after

minute, we keep trying to move forward. It's so difficult that

some days we feel like giving up. Yet, deep inside we know

that we must go on. "This is my world now, and I must move

forward. I can do it, and I must do it. My only other choice

is to stand still, and that is no way to live."

We battle back and forth in our minds, trying to convince

ourselves to move on until one day it begins to make sense.

Living joyfully is not just an option. It is the only choice.

Bit by bit, hope begins to fill in the emptiness left by our

loss until one day, we realize that joy has returned. No,

our joy will never, ever be the same, but it is a joy that

brings peace and meaning to life once again. And, once

again we can smile and really mean it! -- Clara Hinton

Here's hoping I can smile like I mean it.......tomorrow.....

Perfect Days

My new favorite Quote:

"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." ~John Wooden

I loved this quote when I read it this week. I loved it because I realized pretty quickly how lucky I am! I have had many, many, many perfect days!!! In serving my children, especially those with disabilities, I am serving the Lord. Their need is my blessing. And I am so privileged to be their mother and to receive the blessings that come with that calling. It is a quick post, but just wanted to share that thought today!!

May you all have a perfect day, today and every day!! Love to all!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

So many changes for the month of May! One thing our family is not....stagnant!! LOL We are ever changing, ever streaming, ever evolving. I suppose that is a good thing. At least it has been this month.
First thing first, my little Stephen had to have a shunt revision. We went to our usual bi-annual Spina Bifida clinic visit and were surprised by the neurologist telling us "Stephen's shunt has come apart". Within a few days, we were at Texas Children's Hospital having surgery. Stephen was a little trooper, and he only had to stay one night in the hospital. Of course, then we had to give him a buzz cut because he had a huge shaved area on the side of his head! It is a good thing he looks so cute with a buzz! Stephen is almost done with the school year and his birthday is June 3rd. He will be nine years old! It is hard to believe. It seems just yesterday that he was this little toddler running around pointing his finger at everyone saying "I BUSY!"
Stephen is still a busy boy, and is growing into a wonderful young man. He is precious to us, and we are so happy to have this sweet little boy in our family! LOVE HIM!!
My Chrissy spent the month of May staying healthy and working on her physical therapy and occupational skills, as well as learning how to eat orally again with her speech therapist. Friday she ate a whole toddler meal (pasta pick ups)! It is wonderful to see her enjoying the taste of food, and learning to manage it in her mouth without coughing and gagging! What a miracle she continues to be! She has made a believer out of so many doctors and people around the world! She is my inspiration, and I am so happy to say that I have joined with five wonderful ladies, to help spread awareness and education about Hydranencephaly (Chrissy's primary diagnosis). We are forming a non-profit organization called the Brayden Alexander Global Foundation for Hydranencephaly. Please check out our facebook page and our website just being created at http://www.hydranencephalyfoundation.org . I am proud to be a part of this exciting new endeavor and wish to thank Alicia Harper for founding the organization. You can read about her journey with Brayden, who also has hydranencephaly, by clicking here. Thank you Alicia for inviting me to participate on the Board of Directors!
So, now on to Katie, who has been working very hard to pull herself together and getting ready (for the second time) to leave for the Army. Most of you know she was supposed to leave in February but got delayed. She left on May 17th for Fort Sill, in Oklahoma. After a couple of tearful phone calls while she was in processing, she has soldiered up (pardon the pun) and is ready to complete Basic Training over the next 9 weeks! She will then be in San Antonio for her Advanced Training as a Mental Health Professional. We should be able to visit her on weekends once she is in San Antonio!
Andrew and Dana are also going through a change this month! Their whole life plan got turned upside down by the Army! Due to unforeseen complications (i.e. Army Red Tape and lack of co-ordination between Alaska and Alabama), Andrew will not be able to continue in flight school. He is very disappointed, but seems ready to move on quickly to his next plan of action! I am proud of his resilience and ability to look beyond the present disappointment and see his whole future still stretching out before him! He had already completed Officer Training and that will not be taken away from, so he will still be a Warrant Officer but will change to a career in Logistics instead. I think it is a good match for him, as he is very organized!
The exciting part for me is that Andrew and Dana will be moving to Texas!! I am so excited to have them come "Home"! They will be in Houston for a bit, until all this gets sorted out and hopefully will be able to stay close to us!
Kevin and I are thankful for each of our children. The Lord has blessed us indeed. We have decided to pursue a license to be foster parents/adoptive parents in Texas and have started getting our paperwork together for this. Taking a new CPR class on Monday as we need to re-certify. So Lord willing, we will be blessed with more love and joy, and be placed with another child we can call our own for Eternity. I know Emily is smiling down from Heaven, approving this decision, as I can feel her joy and happiness that her mommy and daddy will continue to honor her memory by sharing love with more children in need of a forever family!
Can't wait to see what the summer brings to the Mason family!

New beginnings....Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying.

I posted on my Facebook status the other day "Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying" which is pretty accurate for what has been going on for me lately! I wonder sometimes what exactly Heavenly Father expects of me now. My life was moving along pretty nicely, with most things in place as I thought they should be. Then God intervened and in no uncertain terms let us know that HE is in charge and HIS plan is sometimes very different from what we think our plan should be. I have struggled with this in the last year more than you can imagine. I love the Lord. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have a testimony and faith that we are loved by our Heavenly Father and that he cares for us and hurts along with us when things are not good in our lives. He is there to comfort us in the midst of our pain and anger and grief even as He has allowed for those circumstances to happen in the first place. I understand that we must endure to the end. But it is still a challenge for me sometimes. Even with an unwavering faith, I grapple with where to go from here. How do I move forward after the loss of a child?

Many days I find myself "Wishing". Wishing things were different. Wishing I could go back in time and somehow make things end differently. Wishing Emily were still with us, playing and laughing and being the happy baby of our family. But wishing really gets me nowhere because I know it is not to be. I must console myself with the knowledge that I will see Emily again someday, but that time is not now. That I must go forward for myself, for Emily, and for my husband and children who are still here with me now. My life has to be in the here and now and wishing for the past only hurts those in the present.

So we move on to "Hoping". And though difficult, hoping can be healing. As long as I can find hope for my family, hope for the future, and hope for personal growth then I can continue to get up each day. I can take care of my sweet children. I can take care of my family, friends, and those less fortunate than me. I can HOPE my Heavenly Father still has use of me in this life. And that hope has led me to a belief that He does. I believe that I have not finished the work I have been called to do in this Earthly life.

Which leaves me "Thinking"! The scriptures say to ponder and pray and then, in perfect faith, ask and the answer shall be given to you. Pondering equals Thinking! We have to think things out for ourselves. That is part of our free agency on this earth. It isn't that Heavenly Father is leaving us alone, it is just that He expects us to work towards our own decisions. At least that is how I see it. So I have done a lot of thinking lately. Pondering what I need to be doing. What I need to be moving forward on. A lot of my life has been dedicated to my children. My passion is adoption. So it is only natural for me to question whether I am done in that arena. The more I think, the more I ponder, the more I ask....I feel impressed that I am not done. Before we adopted Emily, when the agency called to ask us about taking her, we prayed about it. As we prayed about taking each of our children, most especially the special needs angels we have! I was given the answer that yes, we were to take Emily, but that she would be our last baby. That was okay with me. I wasn't getting any younger, after all!! And the newborn phase is pretty tough even for a young woman!! So, we took dear Emily, and I wouldn't trade a second of those late night feedings, or the cuddling of a newborn against your chest. It is the best feeling in the world! Heaven on earth! She was a sweet, easy baby. No colic, rarely cried, always smiling. How lucky and blessed we were to have her! And despite her hearing loss, she was very healthy otherwise and continued to be such a sweet, happy, easy to handle child! So I never questioned where we were headed after her adoption. It was settled. Off into the sunset of parenting we were to go. Looking forward to raising the last three of our darlings and then enjoying the fruits of our labor (and the grandkids to come!)

Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men.....as the saying goes. Nothing is certain, is it? The more we plan, the more things change....and our Emily left Earth and joined her Father in Heaven.

And I ponder. I have mentioned before that I sometimes feel her presence around me. I think Emily is trying to tell me to get off my butt and do something! She doesn't like that I have been so incapacitated by her leaving. The first thing she chastised me about was Chrissy and Stephen. I got that pretty quickly and made sure I was giving them the time, attention and love they so richly deserved, despite my grief. She also let me know loud and clear that I needed to get my act together and work on my own personal faith and eternal progression, so I would be ready to see her again one day. But lately, she seems to be telling me other things - that maybe there are more children for our family. Maybe, just maybe, my mission and calling are not done....

So, I finally got to the most important step of all - "Praying". These decisions are not to be taken lightly. Especially, when you are, how shall I say it....."No Young Chicken" anymore! So I ask Heavenly Father on a daily basis lately, what He desires for me to do, where he desires our family go (or grow)? I have always been drawn to the song "Because I Have Been Given Much". It is a church hymn that includes the words:

Because I have been given much, I too must give.

Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live.

I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see,

who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care…

I cannot see another’s lack and I not share-

my glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head,

that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord,

I’ll share thy love again according to thy word.

I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed,

thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Oh, how those words strike my heart! For how blessed indeed have I been? Five of the most beautiful, special, wonderful children a mother could ever desire. After our first two precious, healthy children adopted as newborns, this song is what prompted me to think about giving back. What better way to give back to my Heavenly Father for all his bounteous blessings than to adopt a child with "special needs".

How silly I was back then!!! How could I have known that taking these children with special needs was as joyous and blessed as taking the healthy ones!! In many ways, more so! They are jewels in the crown of glory! They take their disabilities in stride, persevere, endure, and continue to smile and give such unconditional love. So now I have taken and taken and enjoyed my blessings to the fullest. And Heavenly Father has "taken back" one of my precious, precious jewels. But I know she is safe with Him. I do not have to fear for her.

But I am compelled to listen again to the words of that song:

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord,

I’ll share thy love again according to thy word.

I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed,

thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

How can I not understand that, for my life, giving love to those in need is my calling. To love these little children, medically fragile children, who are so in need of love and care and a secure home....whether they are expected to live a full, long life....or whether they have the poorest prognosis the medical field can give them....to share my love with them, is indeed showing my love by word and deed......

AND THUS MY THANKS BE THANKS INDEED.

I can continue to serve my Heavenly Father, my family and my community by adopting. And as for that prompting way back when Emily was given to us? Well, she may very well have been our last "newborn" baby, but that does not have to mean she was our last child. Heavenly Father may yet have work for me to do. We shall see, we shall see.....His will be done!