Faith, Forgiveness and Family

Sometimes we just have to have faith.

Definition of FAITH
1
a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions
2
a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust
3
: something that is believed especially with strong conviction

Faith is intrinsic. Faith belongs to the essential nature or constitution of our soul. It is wholly within our own power to have and hold within our hearts and mind. No one can take it away from us, except we ourselves.

I have Faith. Sometimes it shows itself in the loyalty and fidelity of my relationships with family and friends. Other times, it shows in my belief in Jesus Christ and my adherence to the commandments of God. Most of the time it is just something that is part of my soul, all-encompassing, deeply rooted and always comforting.

Part of having faith is believing in the principle of forgiveness. If you have intrinsic faith in a person it becomes easier to forgive them their trespasses. So we find it easier to forgive those we love and interact with on a daily basis, our family, our friends, and our church family. Right? Wouldn't that make sense?
Not necessarily! I think we sometimes find those people harder to forgive, because we expect so much from them! As spouses, as mother's, as father's we expect those we love to NEVER hurt us or let us down. But you know, that isn't really fair to them. They are only human, as are we. I am certainly not perfect - I have a LONG way to go before I can ever classify myself in the same realm as the Mother Teresa's of the world!
But I can personally work on forgiveness in my own little corner of the world. I can let God guide me to peace and calm, so I do not worry and fret over the small stuff going on around me. And thank goodness, sometimes the people you love come to you first and make it easier to forgive them. They love you and tell you they are sorry, either by word or by action. Actions really do speak louder than words anyway.
Family is forever. It is also intrinsic in it's nature. A certain, steady beacon of hope in a sometimes dreary, unforgiving existence. I love my family so much. And I have forgiveness in my heart for them, and I have a tremendous FAITH in them!!
Faith, Forgiveness, and Family go hand in hand. I love you Kevin, for working to support us, for being open to my crazy love of children and adoption, for caring for me just way I am - personality warts and all!! I don't tell you that often enough. But it is true. And my children! What can I say?! I love them - personality warts and all!! I love that the teenagers can hate me one day and love me more the next, even if they do show it by action because they just can't manage to put it into words! I love that when they get past the hormone, emotionally charged phase of life, that they become pretty cool people! People I can be proud to call my friends! I love my little ones, with their purity of heart and simplicity of spirit. Good is good, and bad is bad, and there is no in-between,no gray with them. They have a pure faith. Pure faith in God, in Mom and Dad, in Life, even in Santa Claus! They are a wonder to behold. They remind me why I am here, why I still want to be here, and that I have a greater purpose in my life. My life that is not done yet.
I have Faith. Faith that I will see my darling Emily again, in the not so distant future. I have forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself and my husband that we were not able to protect Emily every second of every minute of that dreadful morning she was called home to God. I think I can even find forgiveness (in time) for the next door neighbors whose negligence took my daughter's life. Not yet, but in time....
And I have FAMILY. I thank God for my family!

Faith - Forgiveness - Family

It's all we really need.

Slipped Away to Heaven

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Gone Astray...

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he would not depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6

I sit here and ponder this Christmas season the scriptures God has given us regarding our children. We do all we can do as parents to raise them right, teach them morals, and in the end we can only pray that they learned something all those years we took them to Church, had Family Home Evening, and prayed with them.
What of a child, so headstrong, so stubborn, so intelligent, but so rebellious that a parent cannot reach through the shell of adolescent rage? What of a child hellbent on staying on a destructive path and not capable of seeing the wisdom of age in her parents?
I find myself in this situation. A situation I never wanted or asked for and do not understand. A child whom I love more than life itself has wandered away. Wandered away from our love. Wandered away from her Heavenly Father's love. Wandered away from all who love her.
She has gravitated instead to people who do not give a care in the world for her or what happens to her. It is heartbreaking. I have friends who tell me to let her go. They tell me to let her fall and fail on her own. That this will bring her back in the end to her family and her faith.
It is tempting, especially when she says hurtful things and insists she cannot WAIT to get out of our home.....but then I recall this scriptural reference:

"What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish." - Matthew 18: 12-14

Therein lies my dilemma. The dilemma of every mother who has faced a rebellious teenager. A prodigal son or daughter. You love them. You don't want to lose them. You MUST search for them, and you can only rejoice when they return to the fold.

" The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." ~Honoré de Balzac

Until such time that they do return to the fold, and are enfolded in your arms, there is only stress, anxiety and heartache. No rest for the weary. No peace for the home. In the words of Toni Morrison (Beloved, 1987), " Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing."



So I pray. I cry. I worry. I cry some more. I rant. I rave. I pray some more. And most of all, I love her. I ALWAYS love her. I will always love her, no matter what happens or what she says, or where she goes in this life. I will always love her.

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. ~Author Unknown