A New Tradition

Our grief counselor asked me to think of ways to keep Emily alive in our Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions....other than the missing of her physically and emotionally, of course, which we will always and forever live with during holiday seasons. So today, before Thanksgiving prayer and dinner, we read a poem in honor of our sweet Miss Emily. I had seen this poem before online, but was reminded of it today as I was looking at the memorial web page of a dear friend, who also lost her child a few years ago.
It is a beautiful poem and seemed to fit our hearts today.... so for you, sweet Emily Hope....

When tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry

The way you did today,

While thinking of the many things,

We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,

As much as I love you,

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,

Please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name,

And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,

In heaven far above,

And that I'd have to leave behind

All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,

A tear fell from my eye, for all my life,

I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,

So much yet to do,

It seemed almost impossible,

That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,

The good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared,

And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,

Just even for awhile,

I'd say good-bye and kiss you

And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,

That this could never be,

For emptiness and memories,

Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,

I might miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when i did,

My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,

I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,

From His great golden throne,

He said "This is eternity,

And all I've promised you."

Today for life on earth is past,

But here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,

But today will always last,

And since each day's the same way

There's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,

So trusting and so true.

Though there were times you did some things,

You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven

And now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand

And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart.

Author Unknown

And in other Thanksgiving news, Andrew called from Fort Rucker today. He is doing well in W.O.C. basic and is sounding happier and more confident than he has in a while. I was glad to hear his voice. My daughter-in-law, Dana, will be here in Houston in a couple of weeks with their poochies, Sam and Koda, the Chow Chows! She and I (and Katie) will be driving with the dogs to Alabama, and I get the privilege of helping Andrew and Dana find a house to call their home for the next two and one half years, while Andrew is in Flight School. It should be a fun but hectic trip.

Then I will return home and get our whole family ready to make the same trip again on December 23rd, so we can spend Christmas in Alabama with Andrew and Dana, and then we are ALL going to Florida on December 26th to spend some quality family time together through New Year's. January 3, 2011 will be the first Angelversary for Emily and we so need to be all together to get through Christmas and the New Year without her....

So thankful today for my husband, and all my lovely children! Thankful I was able to spend some time at the cemetery today with my brother and Katie and Bailey, even though it was just a short time because it started raining! It was long enough to tell my baby I love her and miss her, then I was able to come back home and tell Katie, Chrissy and Stephen how much I love and appreciate them. And then to talk to Andrew to tell him how proud I am of him. I just need to call Dana now to make the day complete, so everyone around me knows of my love and how thankful I am to have them in my life!

I am thankful to my dear friends as well, both close to me and far away on the internet. I am thankful for the Hydran Support Group and all the wonderful ladies (and a few gentlemen) whom I have gotten to know and love from across the miles and continents!

Life is a roller coaster of emotions for me right now, but knowing I have so much to be thankful for slows the car of life down just a little and smooths out a few of the bumps! God Bless Everyone and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!