Birthdays and Angel-versaries (Faith and Hope)

December 26, 2011. Eleven years. Our sweet Christina Ann has celebrated her eleventh birthday!

 Eleven years ago, on December 29, 2000, Kevin and I drove to Temple, Texas to the NICU at Scott and White Hospital, and met our sweet baby girl, Chrissy, for the first time. We heard the doctor tell us that she would die. Soon. Within weeks. She might not even make the three hour trip home to Houston. But despite the doom and gloom, we heard a much louder voice. We heard the voice of our Heavenly Father. And He told us to bring this baby home, love her, and make her a part of our forever family. Who were we to argue?  He had given us everything. He gave us a healthy baby boy and a healthy baby girl, who were the lights of our lives. Andrew was 12 years old, and Katie was 8 years old at that time. Sitting down with the two of them and explaining about this little baby who might come home to us and then die, was a hard thing to do. But they just seemed to understand. Perhaps Heavenly Father's voice spoke to them too. They accepted Chrissy and more importantly, they loved her! For all they were worth, they loved her. Especially Katie, who held and cuddled and loved and loved and loved. Katie probably, more than anybody, loved little Chrissy to LIFE. To this day, Chrissy loves her big sister Katie so much! I don't know if I ever told my kids how much I appreciated them and how much it meant to me, their mother, that they could accept a sibling with special needs and just make her a part of our life without a question or a hesitation! I was and am SO proud of them for their faith and love. 

And now, here we are, ELEVEN years later! I cannot believe how time has gone by so fast. I cannot believe how much Chrissy changed our lives for the better and made us so much more loving and accepting. She opened our hearts to so many possibilities that never existed in our minds before she came. Because of her and her joyous spirit, we have adopted more special needs children. Our lives have been blessed beyond imagining! 

I wrote a poem for Chrissy, back when she was tiny.  I found it in her scrapbook this morning.....I would like to share it here.

God sent an Angel to us

To Stay a Little While....

A Pure and Precious Spirit

A Beautiful Little Child

God Said She Would be Special

Her Heart is Full of Love

Her Eyes Speak of the Warmth

She Brought From Heaven Above

Her Hands are Soft and Gentle

Her Smile Worth More than Gold

One Tender Glance in Your Direction

Gives a Glimpse of the Worth of Her Soul.

How We Love this Precious Angel

How Sweet this Little Child

We Thank Thee for Thy Goodness and Mercy

We Thank Thee for Her Smiles

God Has Surely Blessed Us Greatly

To Share this Gift so Rare

This Pure and Precious Spirit

He has Given from His Care

God, Help Us to Be Worthy

To have her with us Here

That We can make Her Happy

That She will Know No Fear

God, Bless us with the insight

To know just what She needs

To Love Her and to Teach Her

as Her Journey on Earth Proceeds

God, we are so Grateful

in our Family You Placed this Child

For She Shows Us Daily

The Strength of the Meek and Mild.

We Promise to Love Her Greatly

We Promise to Care for Her Well

We promise to Treat Her Gently

In Our Diligence We Will Not Fail.

And When it is Time for Her to Return

to Thy Loving Arms Above

We Promise we will Try to be Ready

To Give Her Back with Our Hearts Full of Love.

Reading those words again, after all these years, has brought home to my heart how much we loved Chrissy then, and how much we love her now. In the years since Chrissy's birth we have also adopted Stephen, in 2002,who is now nine years old, and then adopted our Emily in 2005.  Another precious, sweet spirit, our Emily was brave and strong and true. She was such a breath of fresh air in our lives, and she was so very loved by Chrissy and Stephen, as well as by Andrew, Dana and Katie. Preparing for the return of Chrissy to our Heavenly Father was a pre-occupation of mine, and I worried that I would not be able to "Give Her Back with my Heart Full of Love" when the time came.  

Heavenly Father had a great and awesome, and HARD lesson for me to learn. He had to teach me that it is His Will, Not Mine that is to be done.  On January 3, 2010, I had to learn that lesson. I had to learn it, and then somehow manage to survive it.  For on January 3, 2010, I lost not my Chrissy, but instead my baby Emily was called home. In a horrible, tragic drowning accident, my little light Emily was taken from me and flew away Home to Heavenly Father. She was four years old. I hardly had her for any earthly time at all......and I was NOT ready to let her go! To this day, tears flow frequently, and my heart hurts daily with the loss of Emily. I would gladly die myself to have her here on earth again, bringing her smile and laughter and love to her siblings and daddy. 

But I cannot change God's plan. And I should not. I understand that. Though it hurts like hell, I do understand it.  And I am able to find solace in the fact that I know Emily is with the Lord and is doing important work in Heaven. I am comforted by Chrissy also. I somehow, deep in my heart, understand also that SHE has elected to stay on this earth with all of her disabilities and challenges, so that SHE can comfort her Momma! She is my rock and my fortress. I love her so much! And now my Heart is Full of Love. Because I see her struggles, her love, her courage on a daily basis. Eleven years later, NOW I can say that should Heavenly Father call her Home, I CAN give her back with that Heart Full of Love. My goodness, it would be the LEAST I could do for all she has given me! To know that she was back in Her Heavenly Father's arms, well and healthy and whole, would be the greatest blessing I could ever ask for (for me and for her). 

Of course, I do not think that she will go tomorrow or the next day or the next! I pray for at least ELEVEN MORE YEARS with her! But I know that Heavenly Father loves her and loves me and He will continue to do so for our life times and for our eternities! I am so thankful for that testimony. It has been a long time in the making.    

So, a Birthday on Dec 26th. ELEVEN WONDERFUL YEARS.  Then, an Angel-versary on Jan 3rd. TWO LONG PAINFUL YEARS. Oh, my heart. It struggles with the joy and pain. But a broken heart still beats. It does. It is a different beat. Sometimes weaker, and sometimes stronger. But it is there just the same.  

Three months ago, we were blessed with our little Joshua. He had just barely turned two years old when we brought him home. The blessings of adoption brought forth again for us. Such a treasure, such a comfort, and such a sweet little man ! He is another joyful, happy, spirit. He is blessing our family in many ways already! We are so happy to have him with us now. SO happy that Heavenly Father saw fit to send us our little man! We felt right away that Joshua was meant to be ours. And he has adjusted so well, and loves us as much as we love him. His smiles light my heart! When he says"Mama!" it just makes my love swell!  And he is pretty darn cute too!! 

How can we possibly be any more blessed than we are?  I am finding that it is possible!!  Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways and He is ALWAYS working!  

From the high of Chrissy's birthday on Dec 26th, to the impending low of Emily's Angelversary on Jan 3rd, all the days in between, I found myself wondering how on earth I could go from such joy to such heartache in the space of a few days. There I was, getting all pre-occupied again, with my own thoughts and my own ideas of how things should go.....I found myself pondering my faith and praying for hope in my heart. Hope that I would see my Emily again one day. Hope that Chrissy would stay with us a few more years. And praying hard for the Faith to believe it would be so.

I suppose Heavenly Father got a little tired of me and all my preoccupation. So He decided to give me a whole other thing to PONDER on!  

On December 29, 2011 (yes, just last Thursday), a little baby girl was born here in Houston. She was born with the same condition that Chrissy has. Eleven years almost to the day, here was this little lady with Hydranencephaly. Born and to be placed for adoption. No family to take her. And a birth mother who wanted only the best for her, but is unable to care for her with all her special needs.  No one knew if the baby would even live through her birth. The doctors sure didn't think so. But her birth mother had Faith. Her birth mother gave her a chance!  And she made it! 

As Heavenly Father probably knew all along, she was meant to make it. And I am so thankful to say that Heavenly Father is blessing our family once again, as we are going to be bringing this beautiful baby girl home soon! We have been with her since last Friday. She has gotten her VP Shunt surgery and is doing very well. I have spent many hours at the hospital this week. Her sweet birth mother named her Faith, and with her permission, we have added the name Sophia. So she will be Sophia Faith.  We are thrilled and honored to have been chosen to care for this special, special little girl. Only Heavenly Father knows how long she will be with us. But we hope it will be for a long while!  

Chrissy is over the moon excited!  

So are Stephen and Joshua! (Josh is not quite sure about sharing attention though! LOL)

We are truly thankful this week. I am especially thankful that the Lord saw fit to find me worthy to take care of another of his very special angels. And I was so happy this week, to be able to literally FEEL the presence of my Emily's spirit around me and around Sophie, as we cared for her at the hospital. I have no doubt that my angel Emily girl is watching out for her new baby sister and that she is happy we are taking Sophie into our family. I have no doubt in my heart at all that Families are Forever - eternal units brought together by Heavenly Father. I am thankful for Andrew, Katie, Chrissy, Stephen, Emily, Joshua and Sophie. I am thankful for my husband, Kevin, who has a strong testimony of our Faith and our calling as adoptive parents.   I am just thankful! 

Tired, but THANKFUL!!  

And I have to add......thankful we are done! LOL  Sophie is the last little angel for us!!  She is gonna be one spoiled little baby girl!!!!

                                             THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER!!!!