A New Tradition

Our grief counselor asked me to think of ways to keep Emily alive in our Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions....other than the missing of her physically and emotionally, of course, which we will always and forever live with during holiday seasons. So today, before Thanksgiving prayer and dinner, we read a poem in honor of our sweet Miss Emily. I had seen this poem before online, but was reminded of it today as I was looking at the memorial web page of a dear friend, who also lost her child a few years ago.
It is a beautiful poem and seemed to fit our hearts today.... so for you, sweet Emily Hope....

When tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry

The way you did today,

While thinking of the many things,

We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,

As much as I love you,

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,

Please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name,

And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,

In heaven far above,

And that I'd have to leave behind

All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,

A tear fell from my eye, for all my life,

I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,

So much yet to do,

It seemed almost impossible,

That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,

The good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared,

And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,

Just even for awhile,

I'd say good-bye and kiss you

And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,

That this could never be,

For emptiness and memories,

Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,

I might miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when i did,

My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,

I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,

From His great golden throne,

He said "This is eternity,

And all I've promised you."

Today for life on earth is past,

But here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,

But today will always last,

And since each day's the same way

There's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,

So trusting and so true.

Though there were times you did some things,

You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven

And now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand

And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart.

Author Unknown

And in other Thanksgiving news, Andrew called from Fort Rucker today. He is doing well in W.O.C. basic and is sounding happier and more confident than he has in a while. I was glad to hear his voice. My daughter-in-law, Dana, will be here in Houston in a couple of weeks with their poochies, Sam and Koda, the Chow Chows! She and I (and Katie) will be driving with the dogs to Alabama, and I get the privilege of helping Andrew and Dana find a house to call their home for the next two and one half years, while Andrew is in Flight School. It should be a fun but hectic trip.

Then I will return home and get our whole family ready to make the same trip again on December 23rd, so we can spend Christmas in Alabama with Andrew and Dana, and then we are ALL going to Florida on December 26th to spend some quality family time together through New Year's. January 3, 2011 will be the first Angelversary for Emily and we so need to be all together to get through Christmas and the New Year without her....

So thankful today for my husband, and all my lovely children! Thankful I was able to spend some time at the cemetery today with my brother and Katie and Bailey, even though it was just a short time because it started raining! It was long enough to tell my baby I love her and miss her, then I was able to come back home and tell Katie, Chrissy and Stephen how much I love and appreciate them. And then to talk to Andrew to tell him how proud I am of him. I just need to call Dana now to make the day complete, so everyone around me knows of my love and how thankful I am to have them in my life!

I am thankful to my dear friends as well, both close to me and far away on the internet. I am thankful for the Hydran Support Group and all the wonderful ladies (and a few gentlemen) whom I have gotten to know and love from across the miles and continents!

Life is a roller coaster of emotions for me right now, but knowing I have so much to be thankful for slows the car of life down just a little and smooths out a few of the bumps! God Bless Everyone and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Be Of Good Cheer....

Thomas S. Monson–Be of Good Cheer

At the most recent General Conference, Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spoke of being of good cheer. Speaking to Mormons and non-Mormons alike, he said:

"Since last we met together in a general conference six months ago, there have been continuing signs that circumstances in the world aren’t necessarily as we would wish. The global economy, which six months ago appeared to be sagging, seems to have taken a nosedive, and for many weeks now the financial outlook has been somewhat grim. In addition, the moral footings of society continue to slip, while those who attempt to safeguard those footings are often ridiculed and, at times, picketed and persecuted. Wars, natural disasters, and personal misfortunes continue to occur.

It would be easy to become discouraged and cynical about the future-or even fearful of what might come-if we allowed ourselves to dwell only on that which is wrong in the world and in our lives. Today, however, I’d like us to turn our thoughts and our attitudes away from the troubles around us and to focus instead on our blessings as members of the Church. The Apostle Paul declared, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

As is his style, President Monson illustrated how it is possible to be of good cheer even in the harshest of times. One story that particularly touched the hearts of listeners was that of a German LDS (Mormon) woman who lived in East Prussia at the start of World War II. Her husband was killed during the war and she and her four children found themselves living in territory now occupied by others. The occupying force ordered all Germans to leave. Having no form of transportation, she began a 1000 mile journey on foot. She was permitted to take only a small hand-pulled cart and whatever would fit into it.

It was late summer when the trip began. They had no money, so they were forced to gather food from the fields as they traveled. Winter came and they had only rags wrapped around their feet, because the shoes had fallen apart. The young mother carried her baby and the oldest, only seven years old, pulled the cart. They dodged troops and other refugees who might prove dangerous.

And then her children began to die. She buried each of the three oldest, one by one, digging their graves with a teaspoon because it was all she had with which to dig. Imagine digging an entire grave with only a teaspoon and a broken heart. Last of all, shortly before journey’s end, the baby died and this time, no spoon remaining, she dug the grave with her fingers over the course of several heart-breaking hours, kneeling on the frozen ice and snow. At that moment, she felt she had lost everything-her entire family, her home, even her country. She found herself contemplating suicide.

As she thought about ending her life, the Holy Ghost prompted her to kneel and pray. She tried to ignore it, but finally obeyed. This was her prayer:

Be Not Afraid

“Dear Heavenly Father, I do not know how I can go on. I have nothing left-except my faith in Thee. I feel, Father, amidst the desolation of my soul, an overwhelming gratitude for the atoning sacrifice of Thy Son, Jesus Christ. I cannot express adequately my love for Him. I know that because He suffered and died, I shall live again with my family; that because He broke the chains of death, I shall see my children again and will have the joy of raising them. Though I do not at this moment wish to live, I will do so, that we may be reunited as a family and return-together-to Thee.”

As she prayed, she was reminded that no matter how painful this life on earth could be, there was a great promise for her if she held on and kept up her spirits. Mormon beliefs include the knowledge that God is our loving Father in Heaven and that Jesus Christ died for us so we could live again. Mormons also teach that families can be together forever. God loves us too much to take our families from us if we love them enough to do what it takes to keep them forever. It was the knowledge of these three things that gave her the courage to get back on her feet and finish her journey through life.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not a gospel of fear. The scriptures are filled with admonitions to be cheerful and not afraid. This can prove challenging when it seems the world is falling apart and the media is determined to keep you in a state of fear to sell newspapers or increase ratings. However, if we do all we can do to prepare for hard times, we can then choose to trust God, or choose to be afraid. You can’t always control what happens, but you can choose your attitude.

“From the holy scriptures we read, “Behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in [Him], they who have endured the crosses of the world, . . . they shall inherit the kingdom of God, . . . and their joy shall be full forever.”

I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.

My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.

I declare that God lives and that He hears and answers our prayers. His Son, Jesus Christ, is our Savior and our Redeemer. Heaven’s blessings await us. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”